Tuesday, September 10, 2013


Hello. It's been awhile.  Summer was busy. But so fun.  It went by in flash, like it always does.  And now school has started and I have two 4th graders and a 1st grader.  How did that happen?  Upper grade, it's too much.  The girls only have 3 more years of elementarty school left.  Time needs to slow down.

Lucy is doing amazing!  She is talking so much.  Insurance decided a couple months ago that she was done with speech.  I hate insurance.  Her speech teacher said she would have liked to see Lucy continue speech, but I just couldn't swing the $200 a session cost. So we said good bye to speech.  But this last month she has started to talk so much. Sentences and thoughts coming out in the cutest voice ever. 

The summer was full of swimming, lazy days, a big family road trip to San Francisco and our annual camping trip with family.  It was awesome.  San Francisco was so fun.  My sister lives there and she was the best tour guide.  We went everywhere. Watched the Dodgers kill the Giants.  The kids thought the city was so cool.  And Lily wants to live there when she is a grown up. 

The summer ended with drama.  As seems to be the theme of our life.  The last 2 1/2 years have been so hard.  Definitely some beautiful moments mixed in with it all.  But challenging to say the least.  I ended up back in the hospital 3 days before the kids started school.  I hadn't been feeling well for awhile, but I just attributed to having 4 kids, lack of sleep and eating poorly.  But then I got the flu and it knocked me out.  After many tests, I was told that I have acute kidney failure.  Because of course.  So I have started dialysis and I will hopefully be put on the transplant list.  There is a possibility of finding a live donor (my sister, husband, sister in law, mother in law, a couple friends have all said they would give me their kidney.  It's just too much to even comprehend) If I find a match in a live donor than I may have the transplant within a year.  That is the ultimate hope.  The good news is that this a manageable disease.  Dialysis sucks. The clinic is so depressing.  But I feel so much better.  Better than I have in months. So it's working.  So I look at it as my job.  I spend 3 days a week 3 1/2 hours at the clinic.  I am determined to continue to improve my health.  I am on a strict diet.  Which at first was hard, but now it's making sense.  I am eating healthier than I have ever eaten.  It feels good to treat my body better. Because I am the only mom these 4 have and I will be damned if I die before watching them grow and become who they were born to be. I am taking it one day at a time.  Enjoying my days off of dialysis.  And taking the time at dialysis to write and reflect on everything.  The kids are doing well with this new change. At first they were scared, which is understandable but we have been very open about everything.  They girls have asked lots of questions.  Brady seems to be the most quiet about it all, but he is always trying to lighten the mood.  I just love him.

So that's been the last 3 months.  Always busy, always grateful for this life.  It is challenging.  It can feel like everything is against us. But really we are lucky.  I am lucky.  I am married to a man who loves me just as much as I love him.  4 kids who are full of beauty, humor, creativity and kindness.  And really isn't that what life is about.  Family and love. Oh and baseball.  Cuz seriously the Dodgers are killing it.  For this dodger loving family, we are loving every minute of their success.  Go Blue!!