December 31st, 2010, 8:16am:
I had finally fallen asleep on my husbands lap. After being awake for the entire night, sitting with my mom, holding her hand, trying desperately to not loose all hope. I finally laid my head down and closed my eyes. 45 minutes later I was awoken by my sister. "Shes gone" is all she said. I looked at her and said "no". I knew what it meant and I wasn't ready for it. She held my hand and said it again, as if to convince herself of the truth. "Yes Paige, she is gone" I sat up and tried to understand. But all I could do was think about breathing. One breath in, one breath out. My aunt said do you want to go say goodbye. I nodded yes and started to walk down the hall into the room where I had grown up to kiss my mom one last time. My husband walked beside me and held me up as I entered the room. She laid there looking so peaceful. But the minute I entered the room I knew it wasn't her anymore. There was no life and it was very evident the moment you walked in. I closed my eyes tight and leaned over and kissed her forehead. I whispered in her ear "I love you. Thank you for being the best mom ever" I turned and walked out and fell into my husbands arms and wept. Everything after was a blur. I wanted to run out of the house. I wanted to go back to sleep. I wanted to go back in one last time and just lay with her. But I knew nothing was going to make me feel any better. Life at 8:16am was forever changed.
365 days later myself, my sister, my husband and my children, let balloons off into heaven. To celebrate the life my mom lived. We each wrote a special note on each balloon and watched 7 balloons dance into heaven. It was magical. I am so proud of my family. We did it. We endured one of the toughest years I could have ever imagined and we came out stronger and closer than before. Goodbye 2011. Hello 2012. May you bring us even more peace, strength, love and happiness.
I had finally fallen asleep on my husbands lap. After being awake for the entire night, sitting with my mom, holding her hand, trying desperately to not loose all hope. I finally laid my head down and closed my eyes. 45 minutes later I was awoken by my sister. "Shes gone" is all she said. I looked at her and said "no". I knew what it meant and I wasn't ready for it. She held my hand and said it again, as if to convince herself of the truth. "Yes Paige, she is gone" I sat up and tried to understand. But all I could do was think about breathing. One breath in, one breath out. My aunt said do you want to go say goodbye. I nodded yes and started to walk down the hall into the room where I had grown up to kiss my mom one last time. My husband walked beside me and held me up as I entered the room. She laid there looking so peaceful. But the minute I entered the room I knew it wasn't her anymore. There was no life and it was very evident the moment you walked in. I closed my eyes tight and leaned over and kissed her forehead. I whispered in her ear "I love you. Thank you for being the best mom ever" I turned and walked out and fell into my husbands arms and wept. Everything after was a blur. I wanted to run out of the house. I wanted to go back to sleep. I wanted to go back in one last time and just lay with her. But I knew nothing was going to make me feel any better. Life at 8:16am was forever changed.
365 days later myself, my sister, my husband and my children, let balloons off into heaven. To celebrate the life my mom lived. We each wrote a special note on each balloon and watched 7 balloons dance into heaven. It was magical. I am so proud of my family. We did it. We endured one of the toughest years I could have ever imagined and we came out stronger and closer than before. Goodbye 2011. Hello 2012. May you bring us even more peace, strength, love and happiness.