negative

The thing about death is it can make you very negative.  About everything.  A person you loved so dear has been taken from you and you will never get to see them again here on earth.  That sucks.  A piece of your heart has been removed and gone with your loved one.  You don't feel like yourself.  There are times when everything and everyone seems to be against you.  But the thing is you have a choice.  To view life now that it has changed as a negative experience or a as a positive one.  It has been 16 months since my mom died and 2 weeks since my father in law died.  I have a first hand experience as to how quickly life can change.  You blink and what you thought was normal has now been flipped upside down and shaken up.  But I know that being negative about death and the impact it has had on my life is not how I want to spend my days.  There is a big difference between being sad and being negative.  It is normal to feel sad, it is healthy to cry and mourn and grieve.  It will benefit you to feel all those horrible emotions of grief.  It will not benefit you to let death change you for the worse.  For some reason this is the way my life has gone, death of my mom when I was only 30 years old, 2 weeks later the birth of my daughter at 26 weeks and then just 16 months later the death of my father in law.  It makes me wonder what will come next.  I made a promise to myself after my mom died and now I am making that promise again.

I promise to smile and laugh everyday.  At least once a day.  I will hug more.  I will say I love you always.  I will talk about my mom and now father in law everyday to my children so they feel that they are still here.  I will not let the little things that others do be my focus.  I will live in the present.  I will treat each day as if it were my last.  I will thank God every morning for letting me be here one more day with my family.

Don't let negative things change you for the worse, let it change you in a positive beautiful way.