shock

It was like any other Satuday morning. I had just gone out into the garage to do laundry. All of a sudden my husband came running out with the most paniked look on his face. I ran over to him and asked what was wrong. His answer, "Matty just called....my dads not breathing....he's not breathing" All I could respond with is "what?!" over and over again.  Luckily my friend had just arrived at our house (she and i had plans to go out), we left the kids with her and drove over to my in laws home. When we arrived the paramedics had just left with him to take him to the er. We headed there. When we arrived, it was us, my mother in law, and my brother in law. We all stood there and watched as firefighters worked so hard to save his life. It was crazy. After about an 1 hour they stopped.

My father in law died at 62 from a heart attack. No warning signs. Nothing. Just gone.

We are shocked, devestated and heartbroken. My kids have lost, honestly THE BEST PA EVER!

My father in law was more than an in law to me. He was my 2nd dad. He loved me as his own. He always told me he loved me. He always greeted me with a hug.  He never told the kids no. He was so proud of them. He was Lucys biggest cheerleader. He was my husbands best friend.  He was my mother in laws soul mate.  

There is a hole in my heart that my father in law filled. Our life this last year has been anything but easy, but we have forged on. Smiling along the way. This has knocked us down.  I am struggling trying to stand back up.

Today Kara was very sad.  I went up to her room to check on her. She was hysterical.  She said she was talking to grammy and pa in heaven and asking them to come back one more time. She just wanted to hug them one more time. She was begging me to make this happen. I wish I could, oh I wish I could,