happy

                                    My handsome hubby and my happy Lucy.  Life is good.

insta #1

I am having a serious love affair with instagram.  I love that I can capture the little moments that I know my frazzled brain will forget.

These 2 love each other.  So very much.  I will catch them hugging and snuggling all the time.  My heart explodes each time.

 

 

 My sister sent me this cute dress and I wanted her opinion of what she thought and Miss Lucy decided to photo bomb.  She is the cutest little thing. I love that she looks so excited.

Eating healthy is hard.  Like I have to try really hard to not just feed them fast food.  I am making a huge effort to cook more and make better choices not just for me but for the kids as well.  I made chicken fajitas and they turned out amazing.  Plus all those colors were so fun to look at while cooking.

 My husband started back a school and for extra credit for one of his classes he had to go to a museum.  We decided to make it a family affair and went to the Getty.  We have never been.  It's awesome.  So beautiful and peaceful.  The kids did great.  Up until the end when Brady decided to pull his hood over his head and run around in circles.  He ran into about 6 people before I could stop him. Boys.

Oh you know they are just sharpening his light saber.  Very stone age era.  Totally normal.

 

Lucy started a dance class.  I can't handle how cute it is.  She is a little unsure about the whole thing until she puts on her tap shoes.  Then she loves it and throws a fit when I have to take them off.  So that's fun.

 

Linking up with Life Rearranged.

 

12:34

My mom loved numbers.  She was amazing at math.  I suck at numbers.  The furthest I went in my math career was pre-algebra, which I failed.  After my mom died I began to notice that often when I would look at the clock the time would say 12:34.  I began to think how strange that was, day after day I would randomly look to see what time it was and 12:34 would be staring back at me.  I mean what are the chances.  My mom could have told you, I can not.  What I can tell is this.  I think it is a sign from my mom.  I know I sound crazy.  Maybe a little desperate to still some how have her here with me.  But I honestly feel it.  Those first few months when she was gone and Lucy was in the hospital every single day I would see that time.  Then not too long ago it stopped.  I got very sad.  Now it's happening again.  I believe it's because right now in my life there is so much going on.  Lots of new stresses and worries.  She is here to say it's all going to be ok.  Why though would she choose those numbers?  Well here is the answer.  She was born on 12/24 and she died on 12/31.  Those numbers are all represented in that time. 12:34. Weird.  And Cool. And one of my favorite things. 

bedhead

Pretty much how I feel every morning since the time change.  Only I don't look as cute as her.

love

With Valentines Day happening tomorrow I wanted to share my love story about my husband and I.  I always love to hear about how other couples have met and the ups and downs of their realtionships.  No two couples are alike and their story is unique.  This is ours. The shortened version.

I met Mike when I was 22 at a party at his parents house.
I didn't want to go.
His sister made me.  I thank God for that every day.
We met.  Kissed. Fell in love.  Not kidding.  It was seriously love at first sight. 
One and a half years of young love.  Then one day out of the blue he wanted to break up.  Just like that it was over.  I was crushed.
4 days later I found out I was pregnant.  I was shocked and crushed and scared.
We got back together.  On December 30th 2003, he asked me to marry him.  I said yes.
On January 14th, 2004 we found out we were having twins. Unbelievable.
We moved into the tiniest apartment ever.  We loved it.
In May we bought our condo.
On June 6th, our beautiful twin girls were born.
On April 16th, 2005 we were married.  By the ocean.  Watching dolphins jump through the surf.  Still my most favorite day ever.
On October 12th, 2006 we welcomed our son.
Enter the hardest 2 years of marriage ever.  Talk of divorce.  Counseling. Lots of fighting. Lots of forgiving.  Soul searching and agreement.  We made it through.  Just barely.
August 2010 we found out we were pregnant with Lucy.  After 1 year of trying.  We were so excited.
October 2010 my mom finds out she has cancer.  Mike stood by my side and held me up the entire time.  I couldn't have made it through with out him.
December 31st, 2010 my mom lost her battle.  My heart is broken.  Mike mends it back together.
January 14th, 2011 Lucy is born.  26 weeks early.  I almost die.  So does she.
3 months of Lucy in the NICU was hard on our marriage.  We lived at his parents and went back and forth from their home to the hospital.  Lots of long talks took place in their driveway.  Scary talks.  Relationship changing conversations.  Mental breakdowns and emotional exhaustion took hold of our marriage.  It was hard.  It was the darkest time in my life. Then Lucy almost died. And we took eachothers hands and prayed.  We let go of the pettiness and held onto the hope that our daughter would make it.  And she did.
April 11th, 2011 Lucy came home.  Halleluiah!!
One year of joy and grieving for my mom.  Mike showed me a side of him I had never seen.  I fell in love with him all over again.  I couldn't believe the love I felt.
April 21, 2012 his dad passes away from a heart attack.  We are crushed again.
This time it was my turn to mend his broken heart.  It has been hard.  But beautiful to be the person he usually is in our relationship.  The caretaker. He needs me more than I need him.
11 years of bliss, heartache, challenges, beauty, breath taking love.
It is my favorite love story.  I can't wait to see the rest of it.  With him by my side.

cheer-up

Just in case you were having a not so great Friday here is a little something to cheer you up.....

you're welcome.

2

Dearest Lucy,
Today you turn 2!  What an amazing adventure the last 2 years have been.  I am forever honored to be your mother.  I witnessed your strength so early in your little life.  Strength that I know I don't have.  You fought hard for this life.  You are here for a reason.  To change the world.  You have already changed mine.  Every time I start to worry about you.  You show me that you are okay.  You are always one step ahead of my worries.  Thank you.  Thank you for teaching me what the word miracle really means.  That life is fragile and getting hung up on nonsense just isn't worth it.  You are so wise.  I see it in your eyes.  You know so much about life, more than most and you are only 2.  I am so excited to watch you grow this next year.  To see you explore more and teach me more about loving and letting go of what life should be like. Just truly living for each day.  I sometimes wonder how I got so lucky to be your mom.  Thank you God for giving me Lucy.  My wish for you, sweet Lucy, is that you never loose your spark.  You always remember how grateful I am for you.  That you know you are the light in our family and you give us so many reasons to smile.  Happy Birthday!! I love you to the moon and back.

Here are some of my favorites of Lucy this last year: