Friday, February 11, 2011


When my mom got sick I prayed everyday for 2 months that she would get better. Every doctors appointment I would pray would bring good news. And every doctors appointment would bring worse news than before. But still I kept praying. Even in her final hours, I sat out in the living room praying. At that point I was just praying. Praying for whatever God wanted. He chose to take her. After Lucy was born I again started praying all day everyday. In the beginning she seemed to be doing well. I finally felt that my prayers were being heard. Now though Lucy is going backwards. She is back on the CPAP and has had a 3rd blood transfusion. She seems to be struggling so hard to breath. I am in fear again that my prayers are getting lost in translation. That I am not praying correctly. My prayers couldn't save my mom and now it seems that they are not helping Lucy. I am so scared. I don't know what is normal here for a preemie like Lucy. I don't know anyone who has gone through this. I keep hearing stories from others about someone they know who knows someone who had a micro-preemie and now that baby is doing great. I don't know how much more I can handle. I feel very weak. I feel so helpless. I am her mom and I should be able to heal her. All I can do is sit and pray. Sit and pray. Sit and pray. Am I being naive in thinking that my prayers are not being heard? I believe so strongly in the power of prayer and I want to always trust that. Please pray for Lucy. Pray for her to grow strong. Pray for our family to regain the strength we had in the beginning of all this. Just pray.


  1. I am keeping her in my thoughts. I fwd'd your post to my MIL who has a prayer chain at her church too. I'm so sorry to hear this news.

  2. Paige, my sweet Paige! Paryer is the MOST we can do in life. As parents it is our responsibility to pray and love for our children. BUT it is God's plan that ultimately shines through. God DOES hear your prayers and he IS listening. There are no prayers that are lost in translation and no prayers go unheard. God does hear you and needs you to rely on him and TRUST in him. There are times in life when we have no idea why we go through these tough times. Jesus suffered, and so we will go through seasons of suffering as well.
    James 1:2-3,5
    "Consider it pure joy, my brothers when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

    Here is my prayer for you!
    I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people Ephesians 1: 17-18

    Remember to:
    Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT)

    Psalm 34:4
    " I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me, freeing me from all my fears."

    I love you Paige and don't turn your back on the one person in your life that is working for you! God LOVES you!!

    All my love: Alicia Yoast

  3. Paige, my heart breaks with this news. I am so sorry. Prayer is perseverance in the faith. It is simply what we were born to do. Whether or not He answers in our way and our time is unknown, yet how can we do anything else but call out to the God who made everything? Who is love, who is Just. He is the only one in charge. He is the only one with a plan.
    I know that when I was younger and spiraling out of control with emotional issues, depression, alcohol, drugs, self abuse, and learned I was pregnant, I wanted to fall apart. I had to cry out to God. It was all I knew to do. I hadn't talked to God in years. I cared nothing for Him prior to the moment he used a tiny baby to draw me close to Him. I begged and pleaded with Him to change me and make me a good mommy for that little baby. And although He does not bargain with man, I offered Him my allegiance in return. He has don't nothing but change me for the better since. I am so grateful for that.
    When my husband was out of control with alcoholism and anger, I cried out to the Lord. I begged over and over again. After years of sitting alone in church and struggling to keep our marriage alive, my husband now, loves God, doesn't drink, and goes to church voluntarily and happily every Sunday. He is a wonderful man that is amazing to me and the kids. God saved us. He saved me. He saved my husband. He saved our whole family. He hears. He does not always work our way, but He ALWAYS works. I will pray for Sweet Lucy, Paige.