love

With Valentines Day happening tomorrow I wanted to share my love story about my husband and I.  I always love to hear about how other couples have met and the ups and downs of their realtionships.  No two couples are alike and their story is unique.  This is ours. The shortened version.

I met Mike when I was 22 at a party at his parents house.
I didn't want to go.
His sister made me.  I thank God for that every day.
We met.  Kissed. Fell in love.  Not kidding.  It was seriously love at first sight. 
One and a half years of young love.  Then one day out of the blue he wanted to break up.  Just like that it was over.  I was crushed.
4 days later I found out I was pregnant.  I was shocked and crushed and scared.
We got back together.  On December 30th 2003, he asked me to marry him.  I said yes.
On January 14th, 2004 we found out we were having twins. Unbelievable.
We moved into the tiniest apartment ever.  We loved it.
In May we bought our condo.
On June 6th, our beautiful twin girls were born.
On April 16th, 2005 we were married.  By the ocean.  Watching dolphins jump through the surf.  Still my most favorite day ever.
On October 12th, 2006 we welcomed our son.
Enter the hardest 2 years of marriage ever.  Talk of divorce.  Counseling. Lots of fighting. Lots of forgiving.  Soul searching and agreement.  We made it through.  Just barely.
August 2010 we found out we were pregnant with Lucy.  After 1 year of trying.  We were so excited.
October 2010 my mom finds out she has cancer.  Mike stood by my side and held me up the entire time.  I couldn't have made it through with out him.
December 31st, 2010 my mom lost her battle.  My heart is broken.  Mike mends it back together.
January 14th, 2011 Lucy is born.  26 weeks early.  I almost die.  So does she.
3 months of Lucy in the NICU was hard on our marriage.  We lived at his parents and went back and forth from their home to the hospital.  Lots of long talks took place in their driveway.  Scary talks.  Relationship changing conversations.  Mental breakdowns and emotional exhaustion took hold of our marriage.  It was hard.  It was the darkest time in my life. Then Lucy almost died. And we took eachothers hands and prayed.  We let go of the pettiness and held onto the hope that our daughter would make it.  And she did.
April 11th, 2011 Lucy came home.  Halleluiah!!
One year of joy and grieving for my mom.  Mike showed me a side of him I had never seen.  I fell in love with him all over again.  I couldn't believe the love I felt.
April 21, 2012 his dad passes away from a heart attack.  We are crushed again.
This time it was my turn to mend his broken heart.  It has been hard.  But beautiful to be the person he usually is in our relationship.  The caretaker. He needs me more than I need him.
11 years of bliss, heartache, challenges, beauty, breath taking love.
It is my favorite love story.  I can't wait to see the rest of it.  With him by my side.

cheer-up

Just in case you were having a not so great Friday here is a little something to cheer you up.....

you're welcome.

2

Dearest Lucy,
Today you turn 2!  What an amazing adventure the last 2 years have been.  I am forever honored to be your mother.  I witnessed your strength so early in your little life.  Strength that I know I don't have.  You fought hard for this life.  You are here for a reason.  To change the world.  You have already changed mine.  Every time I start to worry about you.  You show me that you are okay.  You are always one step ahead of my worries.  Thank you.  Thank you for teaching me what the word miracle really means.  That life is fragile and getting hung up on nonsense just isn't worth it.  You are so wise.  I see it in your eyes.  You know so much about life, more than most and you are only 2.  I am so excited to watch you grow this next year.  To see you explore more and teach me more about loving and letting go of what life should be like. Just truly living for each day.  I sometimes wonder how I got so lucky to be your mom.  Thank you God for giving me Lucy.  My wish for you, sweet Lucy, is that you never loose your spark.  You always remember how grateful I am for you.  That you know you are the light in our family and you give us so many reasons to smile.  Happy Birthday!! I love you to the moon and back.

Here are some of my favorites of Lucy this last year:

changes

It has been a crazy last 2 months. 

 Lots of changes for our family.  

We have moved in with my dad while our condo sells.  Our plan was to only live here for 2-3 months.  Well looks like that will now be more like 12 months. 

But it's okay.  

We are no stranger to change and that our best laid plans can be turned upside down.  So now I am getting busy trying to make this house feel like our home for the next year.  I'm kinda excited to change things up.  Pintrest is so fun for daydreaming up fun room ideas for the kids.  And hopefully in a year we will own our own home and look back on this time and smile.

In early November Miss Lucy had surgery to place tubes in her ears.  For all the anxiety that I went through the procedure only took 9 minutes.  It was easy and she did great.  And now she is doing so well.  Saying so many more words and her balance is incredible.  Before the surgery she would walk around like an old drunk lady, especially when she was tired.  She would fall down all the time, now she walks perfectly.  It's really amazing.  So now she will have another hearing test and hopefully pass so we can finally start speech therapy.  She wants so badly to talk more but she is having trouble.  It is really hard for me to watch her struggle.  I'm looking forward to speech and watching my little girl blossom.

It has almost been 2 years since my mom has gone.  And while it has gotten so much easier to live life without her, I still miss her desperately.  With all of life's changes and excitement it is hard to not share that with her.  I still feel sad when I think that Lucy never knew her.  But in her own way she will know her, through pictures and stories that myself and everyone will tell her.

You see that picture up above?  That is Lucys favorite thing to do. All. The. Time.  She holds the pencil so well, better than her 6 year old brother.  It's amazing! 

And lastly, here is my 4 on Halloween.  The twins were a double rainbow, Brady was Darth Vader and Lucy was a pot of gold.  It was a really fun Halloween.

Have a happy Thursday!

roadblocks

Life lately has felt like a bunch of roadblocks.  We are so close to one thing and then something else pops up that we have to deal with.  I'm wondering if this is how life will always be or if it's just temporary.  I got very sick about a month ago.  Spent 3 days in the hospital.  So much drama.  But they still don't know what was happening.  They are still doing tests.  I feel great.  100% again.  But there are still tests to be done.  Roadblock.  

Over the summer Lucy had her 2nd evaluation through CHOC.  They tested her to see if she has any delays.  I knew going in that she would probably need speech therapy.  She babbles but really doesn't say a lot of words.  She actually has a tendency to say a word a couple of times and then never say that word again.  So just like I suspected she is delayed in speech and CHOC recommended speech therapy.  But first our insurance wanted her to have her hearing tested.  I walked into that hearing test with such confidence I was actually annoyed that we were there.  She failed the test.  Roadblock.  She can hear loud noises, but softer sounds, she didn't even flinch.  Now our family is loud.  She is always around constant noise.  So there is a possibility that she just doesn't care about the quieter noises.  Now we have to see an ENT and her doctor said she does have fluid in her ears (she has had 5 double ear infections this past year) so that could be another reason for her hearing loss.  But until we figure out her hearing there is no speech therapy.  She will probably have to have tubes and hopefully that will take care of the problem.  But there is a possibility that she may need hearing aides.  Lets just discuss how cute tiny hearing aids would be. .I mean really they would be so tiny it would be ridiculous.  So until we get past this roadblock no speech. And this little girl is getting super frustrated that she can't communicate with us.  I have faith she will get there though.

Lucy is amazing though.  She is so curious. She is funny. She is fiesty.  She loves to snuggle and give kisses.  She also loves to bite and pinch, go figure.  She thinks its really funny to be bad so 16 years old should be fun with this girlie.

And just to add to our already crazy, busy lives we are moving.  Selling our place and moving in with my dad while its on the market.  Because trying to keep a tiny home clean while 4 little tornadoes run around is just not something I even want to deal with.  After it sells we will by a house.  I am excited, nervous, overwhelmed but ready. 

chapters

In just 3 days my little boy will be leaving pre-school to go to kindergarten.  I know he is more than ready.  But I am not.  You see for the last 3 years after dropping the girls off at school Brady and I would get 1/2 hour together.  Just the two of us.  It is my most favorite time of the day.  I would take him for breakfast and we would share some sweet treat and he would enjoy his chocolate milk.

When I was pregnant with Lucy I started to feel sad that our mornings together would be over. Then when she came so early I really felt cheated on that special time with him. See Brady has to battle for attention from his twin sisters. Who demand a lot of attention. He sometimes gets lost in the shuffle of girly things and activities. So that time in the morning he was able to talk about what ever his little heart wanted. He would ask me so many questions. He would make me laugh and I really felt like I was able to instill all the things a little boy should know to become a great man. Once Lucy was home I realized we were still able to have our special mornings. It is so fun to watch him as a big brother. He adores Lucy and she to him. This morning while hanging out in the car before his school started I said "oh buddy are you so excited just 3 more days of school and then it's summer and you are a big kindergartner!" To which he responded with tears. Big sad tears. I said "what's wrong?" He said "I don't want to leave my school, I don't want to leave my friends. I don't want to leave you!" I started crying too. This has been such a special time and one I know can't last forever. With the new chapter of his life starting I know we will make new memories. But I will always look back on this time with my buddy as one of the best parts of motherhood.

Flash

Two weeks ago my family and I surprised my mother in law for her birthday with a flash mob in the middle of downtown Fullerton.  It was AMAZING!!  She was truly surprised and touched by all the people who showed up.  Since my father in laws sudden passing this is the first time I feel that all of us felt real joy.  It was such a beautiful experience.  Here is the link to the story and a short video of the dance.

You Know You Are Loved When… | Fullerton News