Wednesday, December 1, 2010

fragile

So we finally got the final diagnosis. Not Metastatic Breast Cancer. Oh no something much more random of course, my mom has been diagnosed with Metastatic Melanoma, that has spread through her bones, liver, pancreas and brain. Wow. That is all I can think. How did this happen? She did not have any signs of Melanoma. She is in the small percentage, about 5%, of people who have this type of cancer that have no lesions that show up on the skin. It all still feels so unreal, raw. Having this happen to my mom has made me think about life differently. Life is fragile. Yet I treat it differently. I was thinking about how when I order something, take for instance my favorite bowls from Anthropologie, I unwrap them carefully. Taking in the words fragile written on the box. Placing each and every bowl slowly in the cupboard. Every time I use one I take precautions. But with life I forget how fragile we all are. How in the blink of an eye life can get turned upside down and broken. I feel foolish for thinking that nothing as scary as this would happen to my family. To my little safe warm world. What I have learned in the past 4 weeks is to take each day and cherish it. Hug tighter and longer. Say I love you as much as you can. Let go of people who are weighing you down and lift up the ones who hold you up. I urge who ever reads this to do the same. Go give your kids one more hug tonight. Kiss your loved one for no reason. Call your mom and dad and just say Hi. Because life is fragile and we should treat it that way.

3 comments:

  1. Oh Paige....I am so sorry to hear this news. My heart goes out to you and your entire family. Please know that your friends and the people who love you are praying for your mom in her brave battle. I know the last time I ran into Karen (it was a few years ago) she was bursting with the pride and joy she felt in her beautiful family. You are all lucky to have a solid support system in each other. What a strange twist of fate to be given such happiness in your pregnancy and sadness at the same time. But I know your faith and spirit will see you through this, and give you strength to be there for your mother during her journey.

    My mom battled metastatic melanoma in the eighties, and lost the fight when Kristi was only 4. Just a few hours ago as I was leaving her house I was thinking that Kristi is a lot like my mom in many ways and it made me smile. Cancer research has progressed tremendously since my mom passed and I pray that the new treatments available will allow your mom to live a long, quality life and see her beautiful grandchildren grow up.

    Take care of yourself and the growing life inside you. You are strong, and your family needs you more than ever. The Paige I know can handle anything with strength and grace. Your blog will help you sort out your feelings, and your friends and family will be there for you when you need support.

    Love to you and your family, Jerra

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  2. Paige, I was so sorry to read about the news of your Mom. I can't even imagine what you are going through but I wish I could give you both a huge hug.

    Gosh, my Mom wrote something beautiful above and I can't even try and match it but I am thinking about you and your family every day and I know you all can move through this somehow. You have a beautiful family and strong support system and I know you will all take care of each other.

    Love you, old friend! xoxo

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  3. Paige,

    I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I know how hard this must be for you and your family as both my parents have gone through cancer treatments (prostate and breast). Recently, my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer although it turned out to be something different. (Not cancer but still serious.)
    My mother ran into your mom at a Gary Morris concert awhile back and she told me how proud your mom was of you and your family.
    I wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my and family's thoughts and prayers.

    Erika

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