normalcy

The last 2 months have felt like an out of body experience. There has been many many times where I lay in bed and think is this really all happening. I stop and wonder if I am just loosing my mind. Because to tell you the truth the thought of actually being crazy seems better than the reality of what is happening. If I was going crazy my mom would still be here, Lucy would still be growing in my belly and everything would be normal. Then I realize that is definitely not happening. Mike and I have been trying very hard to get back into some routine with the kids. They thrive on routine and the last 2 months have been a fly by the seat of our pants. We have moved in with my in-laws because they live 5 minutes from the hospital and that gives us great comfort knowing we are so close to our sweet Lucy. But again this is not our normal routine. So we are trying hard to re-create the routine that we had at home here. It is a slow process but it seems to be working. What is nice is that the kids are still themselves. There are still 457 fights to break up throughout the day. Kara still craves her quiet time. Brady still cries about everything. Lily still cuts her own hair (we are on haircut number 4, I can't figure out how to get her to stop cutting her hair.) In all those moments I am filled with peace. Yes even when Lily came out of the bathroom with half of her hair chopped off and even when they were rolling each other around in a large tub in the backyard. I crave the normalcy of the everyday. My children are my encouragement from God to continue to stay strong. Lucy has shown what it means to fight hard. She is amazing, and that is according to the doctors, I of course already knew that.

Here is the update as of right now, (this could all change tomorrow I know): She has no bleeding in her brain, the PDA in heart closed up after just 2 doses of medication, she is on a CPAP machine and is breathing room air, she is having some tummy issues and they have done 2 x-rays and it is showing nothing alarming but they are unable to feed her at this time due to the amount of bile that is coming through her tube. She is having some apnea episodes which is scary for us but according to the nurses and doctors this is all typical of a preemie her size. I believe more than ever in the power of prayer. When I sit with Lucy all I can do is talk with God and pray. I started praying for all the other babies in the NICU and their parents. It is a scary world in the NICU and I'm positive no matter what each baby is going through the parents are terrified and I know that they to are craving normalcy. Thank you to whoever reads this for your prayers, please keep them coming, Lucy is living proof of the power of prayer.